Danger Moose Dash - new game trailer, please tell me what you think

General (non-technical) New Apps / Works in Progress
#1

I’ve been building a mobile game in my spare time over the last four months and hope to get some feedback from you.

It’s an endless runner where you help Bruce Moose in Danger Moose Dash as he makes his escape from the wolves’ underground lair. 

  • 150 missions!

  • insane gadgets!

  • lots of power-ups!

  • collect oil drops and trade for supplies!

  • enlist Ollie the oil robot and find the gusher!

  • a ton of disguises, everything from an elephant to a court jester!

  • find the magic salmon and become invincible!

  • rise through the 20 different ranks, until you can finally say “I AM BRUCE MOOSE”

Here’s the teaser trailer, which I completed this weekend. Take a look and tell me what you think. I started learning Lua via Corona back in April after spending a year developing with Construct 2, but finding it a little too restrictive for mobile; I aim to release Danger Moose Dash in October for iPhone, Android and iPad. Any feedback and critique would be very much appreciated!

Here’s the link to the video on YouTube

http://youtu.be/2pqVX5x69_E

#2

It looks good but its really bad that you see nothing enticing until 40 seconds into the video. You will have lost most of your audience by then me thinks.

#3

Thanks, Jon, much appreciated. I did wonder whether the preamble was too much. I’ll look at putting together a version that gets straight to the action. Thanks for taking the time to check it out.

#4

I agree - the lead in is too long. It’s not bad, just speed it up. I think 20 seconds or even 15 would be fine. IMHO, don’t twist the wolf face either and get the red eye animation out of the way a lot quicker.

The text which describe the elements of the game block the view of the video and, IMHO, would be better if there were slices of the action being described quickly sliding into view with the text. I wasn’t sure if what was in the video shot was what was being described by the text.

Other than that, which is really just editing and not bad content at all, it’s great.

#5

Great, thanks @horacebury I really like the idea of sliding in some of the action alongside the text to make it more obvious what I’m talking about. Looks like that intro is way too long as well. Great to have some constructive feedback from you both. Cheers.

#6

It looks good but its really bad that you see nothing enticing until 40 seconds into the video. You will have lost most of your audience by then me thinks.

#7

Thanks, Jon, much appreciated. I did wonder whether the preamble was too much. I’ll look at putting together a version that gets straight to the action. Thanks for taking the time to check it out.

#8

I agree - the lead in is too long. It’s not bad, just speed it up. I think 20 seconds or even 15 would be fine. IMHO, don’t twist the wolf face either and get the red eye animation out of the way a lot quicker.

The text which describe the elements of the game block the view of the video and, IMHO, would be better if there were slices of the action being described quickly sliding into view with the text. I wasn’t sure if what was in the video shot was what was being described by the text.

Other than that, which is really just editing and not bad content at all, it’s great.

#9

Great, thanks @horacebury I really like the idea of sliding in some of the action alongside the text to make it more obvious what I’m talking about. Looks like that intro is way too long as well. Great to have some constructive feedback from you both. Cheers.